GG EXCLUSIVE: Martina Returns

Gordon Gartrelle homie Martina from Will They Grow? (peep previous interview here) has returned for another 5 questions in what I hope will become a semi-regular segment on the site. Also, I think her boobs might be growing just a little bit? Here we go:

1) How often (as a percentage of times you're drunk) do you "blackout"? What type of things do you do in this state? What "type"of drunk do you consider yourself (happy, sad, belligerent)? Do you enjoy wines, brewz, spirits or all three? (ALCOHOL OMNIBUS QUESTION)

I DO NOT ever black out, that's horrible! Seriously, that has never happened to me. Does that happen to you often? That means you probably have a drinking problem.

I like whiskey and bloody marys and beer mixed with clamato. I like vodka. Bourbon. I also like hot boys. Mmmm hot boys and bourbon...

2) What do you think of Brendan Fraser? This is all encompassing; could be his looks, movie roles, general attitude. Here are some highlights from his career to help you along: The Mummy, Monkeybone, Encino Man,Dudley Do-Right, George of the Jungle, Blast from the Past, Airheads, With Honors. Feel free to talk about any of these movies if you wish.

I'm glad you asked this, because I've actually spent some time thinking about Brendan Fraser. He is typecast as "The Unaware Time Traveler". Isn't that the weirdest typecast? Like, why is that even a category? Encino Man, Blast From The Past, The Mummy (plus sequal), Journey to the Center of the Earth (plus the upcoming sequal). Was he in the made-for-TV Encino Woman, too? I don't remember. But does he seek out those films, or does he just have the time traveler look? Movie people are so lazy. They're like, we are making another Unaware Time Traveler movie, who should start in it? That guy Brendan does it well, let's just hire him so we don't have to deal with auditioning new actors. But this Unaware Time Traveler movie is going to be SO much different than the other ones, it's deeper and richer. It really explores time and space, and how humans exist within it all.

Here's the thing about the Unaware Time Traveler movie: There is a theory that every story ever written can fit into the category of "A man goes on a journey" or "A stranger comes to town". The UTT story is BOTH of those. A man goes on a journey, and at the same time, he is a stranger who comes to a town. That's what makes it so complex.

However, Airheads: fabulous film. "The Lone Rangers".

3) Have you ever wasted a few hours reading "conspiracy" websites? This could be anything from the 2012 Apocalypse, Alex Jones, 9/11 Conspiracies? I always get so into those while I'm reading them, but the next morning the thrill is gone and I wonder why I didn't go to sleep earlier or read about science or something.

Yes. JohnTitor.com
I believe every bit of it.

4) Did/Do you have any pets? If not, what kind of pet would you get, assuming you'd want one. My dog died like 18 months ago and I want to get a tattoo of it's head on my arm. If you saw a dude with a medium sized tattoo of his dead dog's head on his upper arm area, what would you think of the man?

I have a hamster, but I don't take very good care of him. I thought he was going to have a loving and loyal personality like a dog, but really he's more like a cotton ball that I have to feed once a week. His name is Hammie. He poos a lot.

What kind of dog are you talking about for the tattoo? If it was a Chihuahua, I'd say don't get the tattoo. If it was a Chinese Crested, I might marry you.

5) Did your high school have "cool kids" or was it just alump of normal kids with maybe just the losers clearly delineated? My high school was so big and generally full of "nerdy" kids that there weren't really many clear distinctions. What generic 80s teen movie archetype would you say you were? (I'm going with nerdy friend secretly in love with girl combined with crazy party guy)

My 10 year highschool reunion is this year. I'm super psyched, because my 5 year reunion was amazing. I went to a tiny school so we're all friends, and our 5 year reunion was like a giant drunken orgy paid for by the money that was left over in our class budget. Also, everyone turned out to be gay. Like, EVERYONE. Apparently Massachusetts breeds the homos. Who knows, I might decide I'm gay this year, too.

I'm ignoring your 80s questions because I'm not into it.

Also, I looked you up on facebook. CREEEEEPPYYYY!!!!