GG EXCLUSIVE: Martina Returns

Gordon Gartrelle homie Martina from Will They Grow? (peep previous interview here) has returned for another 5 questions in what I hope will become a semi-regular segment on the site. Also, I think her boobs might be growing just a little bit? Here we go:

1) How often (as a percentage of times you're drunk) do you "blackout"? What type of things do you do in this state? What "type"of drunk do you consider yourself (happy, sad, belligerent)? Do you enjoy wines, brewz, spirits or all three? (ALCOHOL OMNIBUS QUESTION)

I DO NOT ever black out, that's horrible! Seriously, that has never happened to me. Does that happen to you often? That means you probably have a drinking problem.

I like whiskey and bloody marys and beer mixed with clamato. I like vodka. Bourbon. I also like hot boys. Mmmm hot boys and bourbon...

2) What do you think of Brendan Fraser? This is all encompassing; could be his looks, movie roles, general attitude. Here are some highlights from his career to help you along: The Mummy, Monkeybone, Encino Man,Dudley Do-Right, George of the Jungle, Blast from the Past, Airheads, With Honors. Feel free to talk about any of these movies if you wish.

I'm glad you asked this, because I've actually spent some time thinking about Brendan Fraser. He is typecast as "The Unaware Time Traveler". Isn't that the weirdest typecast? Like, why is that even a category? Encino Man, Blast From The Past, The Mummy (plus sequal), Journey to the Center of the Earth (plus the upcoming sequal). Was he in the made-for-TV Encino Woman, too? I don't remember. But does he seek out those films, or does he just have the time traveler look? Movie people are so lazy. They're like, we are making another Unaware Time Traveler movie, who should start in it? That guy Brendan does it well, let's just hire him so we don't have to deal with auditioning new actors. But this Unaware Time Traveler movie is going to be SO much different than the other ones, it's deeper and richer. It really explores time and space, and how humans exist within it all.

Here's the thing about the Unaware Time Traveler movie: There is a theory that every story ever written can fit into the category of "A man goes on a journey" or "A stranger comes to town". The UTT story is BOTH of those. A man goes on a journey, and at the same time, he is a stranger who comes to a town. That's what makes it so complex.

However, Airheads: fabulous film. "The Lone Rangers".

3) Have you ever wasted a few hours reading "conspiracy" websites? This could be anything from the 2012 Apocalypse, Alex Jones, 9/11 Conspiracies? I always get so into those while I'm reading them, but the next morning the thrill is gone and I wonder why I didn't go to sleep earlier or read about science or something.

Yes. JohnTitor.com
I believe every bit of it.

4) Did/Do you have any pets? If not, what kind of pet would you get, assuming you'd want one. My dog died like 18 months ago and I want to get a tattoo of it's head on my arm. If you saw a dude with a medium sized tattoo of his dead dog's head on his upper arm area, what would you think of the man?

I have a hamster, but I don't take very good care of him. I thought he was going to have a loving and loyal personality like a dog, but really he's more like a cotton ball that I have to feed once a week. His name is Hammie. He poos a lot.

What kind of dog are you talking about for the tattoo? If it was a Chihuahua, I'd say don't get the tattoo. If it was a Chinese Crested, I might marry you.

5) Did your high school have "cool kids" or was it just alump of normal kids with maybe just the losers clearly delineated? My high school was so big and generally full of "nerdy" kids that there weren't really many clear distinctions. What generic 80s teen movie archetype would you say you were? (I'm going with nerdy friend secretly in love with girl combined with crazy party guy)

My 10 year highschool reunion is this year. I'm super psyched, because my 5 year reunion was amazing. I went to a tiny school so we're all friends, and our 5 year reunion was like a giant drunken orgy paid for by the money that was left over in our class budget. Also, everyone turned out to be gay. Like, EVERYONE. Apparently Massachusetts breeds the homos. Who knows, I might decide I'm gay this year, too.

I'm ignoring your 80s questions because I'm not into it.

Also, I looked you up on facebook. CREEEEEPPYYYY!!!!

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GG EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Martina from Will They Grow?

Here's our interview with Will They Grow?'s Martina. I think we covered a wide range of topics with these five questions. Enough to give ya'll a better of idea of whose behind the nipples.

Are you familiar with the Honeymooners? Do you think that show's funny at all? Sometimes, late at night, I get a very nostalgic feeling for a past that's not mine, and enjoy the show. Other times I get angry at Alice for being a "sassy" woman whose basically just a compliant housewife. Am I off-base?

I know exactly what you mean, because this is how I feel about the show Friends. It's really not a good show at all, but when it comes on in reruns in the middle of the night, I feel a longing for it to be my personal history. I always think, "Why don't I have a large close group of friends like this, who always say witty things and have serious hair cuts?" But then sometimes, I'm like "Are you really that stupid? Do any of you even have jobs??" Plus, I can never figure out how old they're supposed to be. They act like they're 25, but they are somehow able to afford that giant apartment overlooking Central Park.

When a girl walks by on say, a Saturday night, and I jokingly say something like 'What's really hood?' under my breath but loud enough for the girl to hear, is this inappropriate? It's not quite cat-calling but it might still be construed as a violation of somebody's 'personal space'. Should I stop doing this? (ADDITIONAL INFO: I normally have a very non-threatening demeanor and physical appearance)

I don't even know what "What's really hood?" is supposed to mean. What type of response are you expecting? Like, what would be the ideal reaction to that question? You must be single. You can keep saying it, but really, once you reach your 18th birthday you should consider stopping.

Aliens have landed on earth, they are exactly like human beings in every single way except for their skin color. It's a color we've never seen human beings be before. What color would you want it to be? Basically I'm asking you what your favorite color is, with limited options.

Dude, what is this blog even about?

I'd like to see the aliens have deep yellow skin, like on The Simpsons. If Carrot Top had yellow skin, he'd look like Sideshow Bob. If Bob Barker had yellow skin, he'd look like Mr. Burns. I like to think that my yellow skin counterpart would be that cool babysitter that Bart had a crush on. She was rad.

What cell phone service do you use? Are you satisfied?

I have an iPhone. I'm happy with my service, except for the fact that my freeloading ex-boyfriend is still on my family plan contract and I can see every phone call he makes and receives. It's fun to use the parental controls on the account to randomly block phone numbers on his phone. I like to imagine him having a girlfriend, and then one day he suddenly can't call her and doesn't know why, so she breaks up with him. Or finally getting a job offer, but not being able to receive the call so they give the job to someone else. Actually, that one is probably unlikely. He hasn't had a job in 3 years.

Do you think all the access that children these days have to technology/social networks will lead to them being awkward in "real-life" situations and ultimately lead to them having less sex? What do you think of 'kids today'? (KIDS: 10-18 years old)

No. I love technology. Kids today are super-communicators, and when they're running the world, things will be more efficient than ever before. Don't be such an old man, Old Man.

In-depth Interview with Martina:
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-qa-small-busted-blogger-asks-will-they-grow/

Previous GG Post:
http://gordongartrelle.blogspot.com/2009/06/visit-from-dap-will-they-grow.html

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