Friday, July 9, 2010
yeah, this blog's over.
it's been real.
thanks dap, kate, bob, tal, andrew, cf edley, kool a.d., jordan fish and despot.
it's been real. hasn't it?
maybe we'll get around to putting up a best of gordon gartrelle soon.
more likely than not it will be over at my new blog which you should go ahead and "follow' or whatever?
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Doesn't anyone else contribute to this blog any longer!?! Gordon Gartrelle was once a hotbed of racial and political discourse. In order to stir up controversy and thus reignite Gordon Gartelle's primal fire, I have decided to post a list of offensive words and terms. Please comment on them or personally attack me as you see fit...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Been awful quiet on here. Everybody busy livin life I guess. Good job y'all. On a personal note, here are some of the things I've googled in the past few months. Stars indicate I remember when and/or why I undertook the search. $ indicates a search that was in some way precipitated by a conversation with another GG blogger. Hyperlinks to results that were most relevant to my intentions.
This functions as a bizarre sort of diary, onto which I can map recent experience in a completely nonlinear way. E.g. I'm fairly certain I was drunk when I googled "quotes about life" but improbably sober and focused when I decided to learn more about "words that start with H." You should try it! Then erase it all!
ahab with a whale (image search)
al franken map*
be there in a few knots (not actually a phrase)
best ab toning exercises
brian eno tammy wynette*
can you train pigs like dogs*
death metal rooster*$
driving with dilated eyes*
fastest magician in the world*$
free willy mj
flying squirrel suit
gore orphanage haunted legend*
history of jetpacks
how to carmelize onions*
how to start a militia*
i feel when you
ice cream paint job*
is there a real life mario big world*$ (I have googled some version of this on at least 4 separate occasions)
kim jong il chef memoir *$
killer whale attack human
letters to a young poet
mario lopez* (image search)
most amazing banana bread (really good)
"mr. pizza cake" $ (image search)
my clinique facewash smells terrible why*
naked chinese man attacks car*
no more monkey business
places to smoke in newark airport* (remote googling for someone else)
puppy bowl lineup*$
put it on blast
people got a lotta nerve
psychology of extreme sports
quotes about life
razor that won't hurt a baby*
ride my turtle
shakin it for daddy michelle trachtenberg
time traveling hipster*
toys for pot bellied pigs*
unblocking people on gchat*
was james mason a dbag*
wayne's world dog costume
what is up with whales
words that start with h*
young chuck norris
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
YO WHATS GOIN ON TELEGRAPH, NO 'INTERNET VIRUS' PUN? YOU USED TO BE COOL.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
so all these jawnny boys may have gone virallissimo, but i'd like to bring them back to the forefront for GORDON GARTRELLE'S FIRST ANNUAL GORDON GARTRELLE CELEBRITY DRUG (CON)TEST! It's up to you, the faithful reader, to figure out what (combination of) drugs each of these celebrities is on! Put your answers in the comments, and the best one will receive some sort of prize, probably a digital one that has no value in the real world or even on the internet. BUT IT WILL DEFINITELY HAVE YOUR NAME AND SOME BOOBS ON IT, SO IT WILL BE INVALUABLY COOL.
note that the other gordon gartrelle writers are NOT exempt from this contest, because without them, the contest would only be open to Mike Shamoon and the japanese spambots that really like bigsausagepizza.com.
next, one of the most befuddling:
and finally, the most buhlarious:
LET THE COMMENTS COMMENCE!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
giggs is coming out on the best label in the world xl records. giggs is the truth. this is the only rap i listen to right now and will listen to for the next 9 months. get familiar.
i half expect ALEC to finish this post with an "UPDATE" since he put me on to giggs and it took on a whole new meaning listening to it on his car speakers the other night. oh man, i felt so cool.
this joint "yeah", which we've since referred to simpy as "LOBSTA LUNCH", is what started my obsession with dude. pause. really only the hook:
"from sittin int he trap eatin monsta munch, to in a restaurant, lobsta lunch, yeah"
uk trap rap's the simple headline for his work but this dudes scarier than most trap rap dudes to me. he's not really inviting. alec accurately described him and his style as "that cat in class who would always breathe too heavy". or something like that. i believe this dude when he raps in a way that's akin to hell rell more than anyone else. i dont doubt the so icey cats in atl or jeezy or whatever trap rap you prefer being hard or whatever whatever, wacka flocka getting shot a minute ago seemed like good enough evidence (cause these days GETTING SHOT means you're hood, not AVOIDING GETTING SHOT), but they're also flashy in a way and incapable of painting the vivid imagery giggs does. when rappers rap about guns and then claim they're doing it to show people what their lives are like they tend to simultaneously glorify it. giggs rapping about moving weight sounds depressing as fuck, as it should.
heres what i think is dudes single f/ mike skinner, the streets
another thing that surprises me about dude is how he almost seems hell of awkward. thats not a good look for a rapper typically. even his name giggs comes from his childhood shy-ass giggle. every video i've seen of his involves at least 4 shots of him just looking at the floor. though i don't think that means he's not about grinding. we're almost brainwashed here into believing everyone that makes money is some charming, swagarific big shot talker. i never thought i'd quote memph but... I believe it was rapper Memphis Bleek who once said "the strong move quiet, the weak start riots". giggs strikes that nerve but maybe he's just a shy, awkward dude who also happens to move weight or whatever whatever. he's kind of the anti-swag rapper. THIS IS A GOOD THING
a final point is that english accents are cool. i loved s.a.s. because in the same way giggs reminds me of southern trap rap, new york's equivalent to the crunk and trap movement, dipset early-mid 2000s, has its own british equivalent in Mayhem and his brother who make up S.A.S.
but damn, giggs voice much cooler tho
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Well I know Boob is on tour with the Easton, PA H.S. Musical Theater Troupe running lights for their reportedly triumphant staging of the Broadway hit "Wicked," but what's the hold up with the rest of us posting and making each other synchronized-weepy? Hopefully nothing. Hopefully, we are all just depressed and uninspired. Even more hopefully, we all got stuck at the Winter Olympics. Vancouver is a hard town to leave. For serious.
And in this serious mood, in these serious, serious times, with the healthcare reform measures being pushed through Congress like a bag of Idaho potatoes up a anus-less preacher's ass, with the earth devestating the already devestated, with whale being served at premeir Santa Monica sushi joints, sad, sad whales, lonely stolen-from-the-great-blue-desert whales, sad giant beautiful smarter than us whales, with Jay-Z running our military, sadly, sadly I give you two versions, serious, serious sad-dubs, dubs that would make Lee Perry cry green tears, tears of mercury, tears of stone, serious tears:
AWESOME. Really awesome.
I love this job.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Has anyone yet to discover the amazing video chat phenomenon known as Chatroulette? A 17-year-old Russian lad created the site just three months ago, and it has since changed my life. Since early childhood I dreamed of a game in which random strangers were paired up with one another. In my daydream these brief encounters took place in an elevator. But on this fantastical website, you and a rando are placed face to face, glimpsing into each other's lives through the tubes of the internet. Here is a brief video outlining some of the interesting things I have encountered while spinning the unpredictable wheel of Chatroulette.