Friday, May 15, 2009


What can be said about Newports (Newps, Newpies) that black stand-up comedians haven't mentioned? Let's see:

  • Awesome color scheme

  • A quick smoke. I once finished a pack before my friend finished one American Spirit. Then I bashed his brains in for smoking American Spirits, eww. Just kidding, I don't have any friends.
  • Newports are clearly bad for you. Many a "I only smoke when I'm drunk" type has woken up in the morning to spit up blood and mucus into the sink and swear off their semi-habit.
  • Incredibly misleading ad campaign. White people who go to the beach regularly just DO NOT smoke Newport cigarettes. Not a single one.

Check out these old Newport Ads from a long time ago:

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