A DRAWING FROM DAP: BANANAMAN THINKS OF HOME

Bananaman Thinks of Home (2010)

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Woke up after having a dream somewhat like this. I was forced to wear a banana suit at a large party where people were drinking purple drank and I kept kept getting incredibly sad thinking about people I had known, frolicking with them in some sort of meadow? I couldn't draw that so I drew this shitty apple + grape combo balloon instead. ENJOY!

Using some Crayola "Pip-Squeaks Mix 'Ems" markers my 4 year old cousin left here instead of the old markers.

Also, big ups to the homie CFE:

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: WELCOME

Welcome (2010)

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Not too happy with this one. Just got new markers, they're not very good and I'm getting used to using them. Grayed out the background. Also messed up a few times drawing in a rush. But whatever, way more to come, already have a couple of ideas for the new markers that won't expose their weaknesses (more like WACKnesses, am I right?) so much.

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A VISIT FROM DAP: SUPERGROUP IN THE PARK

Just had a dream that GG homie Chris had assembled a supergroup to perform in a scenic park. Members of several bands had come together to form a supergroup a la Spanish Broads. I was playing "timpani" which was actually a steel drum I played exactly like a normal drum kit and the sound resembled an electronic drum kit. This part was AWESOME. I was playing next to a composite East Asian man who was a combination of two people I've known in the past. Three songs in, the East Asian man's guitar broke and Chris frustratedly asked him what happened. They tried to swap out guitars but the new one didn't work. Shortly afterwards Chris ran into the woods that were behind us in the park and hundreds of members of the crowd and the band followed him. He literally turned into Pan (the mythical half-goat creature, not this man from Suckers) and started leading everybody in a song I cannot remember.

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A VISIT FROM DAP: HARI THE COMIC VIDEOS

My brother made a couple of videos while he was in San Francisco, here are two of them.

I like the end of this little jammy.

This one's great.

Here's some crummy shit I made to fuck with that played-out blank eyes thing. New drawings this week!

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A VISIT FROM DAP: THE NEW NEW HOLLYWOOD

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A VISIT FROM DAP: PROPHET ELIJAH SAMUEL

I got this email the other day. I'm surprised it worked it's way around the spam filter but I'm glad it did. I'm thinking about responding to Prophet Elijah Samuel, as long as his services run in the ten dollars or less range.

All Hail, MY name is Prophet Elijah Samuel, I am a Genuine psychic, i cast all kinds of spells, love spells, money spells, career spells, lottery spells,fortune spells and banishing spells. i also do psychic readings and spiritual help in all situations. I have worked for many people from different nations all across Europe,Asia, Africa and many others. Do not hesitate to contact me if you need any solution,fulfilled your heart desires. Nothing is impossible. my e-mail is: prophetelijahcoven@gmail.com Universal Favour Be Upon You

It's got a valid e-mail address and everything. What do you think?

(Peace to Corban Goble for snapping this flick with a Japanese Polaroid at Highline Ballroom)

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A VISIT FROM DAP: DISGUSTING MAN IN OSCAR MEYER SANDWICH AD

This fat loser is gross and has a racist vibe about him. I hope he chokes on that sandwich! (The "idea" of this man, that is, not the actual fat dude in the photograph). EWWW!

Also, that dude totally wouldn't say or think "goody". It's just a sandwich made with prepackaged sliced animal carcass you loser!

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: IT'S OVER, DARRYL!

It's Over, Darryl! (2010)

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You can read either character's dialogue first, makes no difference.

First jammy of the new year. Drew it with a surgical skin marker and a Crayola marker. This'll be my last drawing for a bit, I need to get a 12 pack of Crayola markers somewhere, I can't use the colored pencils anymore, I don't know how to shade so it just takes too long. RUDE BWOY.

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: TEEN QUEEN

Teen Queen (2009)

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Just saw Bad Lieutenant (the Werny Herzy one). It was good, but I was a little underwhelmed with the level of wilding from Nicholas Cage. I expected more drug use, wilding, screaming, kicking of people, gun usage, etc. Although when he yelled "TO THE BREAK OF DAWN" a few times, it was almost enough.

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: ONE PANEL OF A RACIST GRAPHIC NOVEL (PART 1)

One Panel of a Racist Graphic Novel (Part One)
(2009)

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Used a surgical skin marker.

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: COMIN' 4 DAT AZZ!

Been freaking out a lot today and thinking someone was in my house, hiding behind doors, etc. Without further adue:

Comin' 4 Dat Azz! (2009)

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Made this terrible piece of garbage with colored pencils and a surgical skin marker. The scans will continue to be very bad but will get ze point across. Auto-leveled in Photoshop.

Also, the homie Kate Bryant apparently started a new blog (ahem, traitor) with a clever name, check it out: http://softtacohardbody.blogspot.com.

UPDATE: Check out this drawing from the 7th grade. I cannot get over how bugged the main dude is. Also, I think I had that middle part in my hair when I drew this. Click to enlarge.

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A DRAWING FROM DAP: FUCKBUBBLES

I will be posting very bad art a few times a week from now on. This scanner absolutely fucked up this colored pencil drawing that sucked anyway. Without further adue:

Fuckbubbles (2009)

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The circles were drawn using a compact disc and a wooden token drink ticket from Pianos. I found the colored pencils and charcoal in a closet I was cleaning. Here's a scan of that token, which is way cooler than this drawing and which I might not redeem for a watered-down whiskey ginger:

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LAST VISIT FROM DAP IN 2009: ARBITRARY ASSEMBLAGE OF STORIES AND IMAGES VAGUELY CORRESPONDING TO THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS

These are ten images and a few "stories" tossed together so I can get in a year-end list like everybody else. I love you all, faithful (and faithless) readers and would love for you to email pictures of yourselves to me immediately (or ASAP!). HERE. WE. GO!

one

Rob Leitzell (famous film director) was filming something for his NYU Film class at Chris, Kate and Ray's old place on McKibbin Street. Me and Hima had brief parts so while other filming was going on a bunch of us would sit in the hallway and eat pizza and smoke cigarettes and drink beer and be told to shut up. I took off my all-white Nike Blazers with rainbow laces and left them outside for maybe ten minutes. When I came back to get them, they were gone. Later that night, Hima was looking for his shoes that he had left inside. One was found but the other was missing. I had to wear a gigantic pair of silver glitter platform boots home all the way to Jefferson Street (several blocks away) while Mexican dudes laughed at me (which was awesome). Someone gave Hima pair of Pumas he still wears to this very day.

His other shoe was never found, even when they moved out...

two

One time I was coming back from Daniel Lynas' studio with Aleksey (Lakutis) and I started feeling faint (from days of not sleeping or eating) so we got off the train at 47/50 and we had to wait while I sat on a bench for twenty minutes. Aleksey had class early the next morning, what a loser!

three

One night Quinn Walker (of the band Suckers and general good-dudeness) repeatedly claimed to have gotten into a fight with fifteen (then twenty, then thirty) dudes outside a bar. He had no cuts or bruises and appeared to be in a very good mood.

four

I DID NOT PISS IN THAT BOTTLE, NOR DID I PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN URINE.

five

I DID PISS IN THE SINK BUT NOT THE FLOOR. I ONLY PISSED IN THE SINK CAUSE I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THERE, EWW!

six

I spilled an entire frozen box of peas I had microwaved into a silverware drawer at some random's house, I was very drunk and began to clean the drawer. I cleaned maybe 80 percent of it, but then saw several roaches inside the drawer and freaked out and didn't finish. I don't think I did anything wrong but I'm sorry. SORRY ABOUT WASTING THE PEAS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

seven

eight

nine

THIS IS A CLASSIC, FOLKS! ENJOY IT!

ten

Well that's all for me this year. Check out Stuffed Petite (part of the Gordon Gartrelle Group) in 2010 and if you're in the mood for more funny pictures, search for "A Visit from Kate" (who I hear now goes by DA BADDEST BITCH and has like thirteen piercings?). Adios!

...AND KEEP THE CHANGE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!

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A VISIT FROM DAP: PAUL STANLEY BERATING A MAN

Paul Stanley yells at some dude with a laser pointer. He calls him a shmuck and also tells him to "put it in your pocket, or I'll put it up your ass." After berating this dude, he starts using his rock voice again, then switches back for another round. During MOVIE NIGHT© this week we watched Decline of Western Civilization 2, which featured Paul Stanley on a gigantic bed surrounded by fly women. Paul Stanley seems like a huge asshole. I hate Paul Stanley.

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A VISIT FROM DAP: LOCKED IN

I just had a dream I was in a huge Walmart-like structure with a couple of hippies in this small annex section when a garage door-like structure closed behind us and locked us in. There was a strange dream-montage that followed that indicated that a maniac who worked in the store locked us all in for thirty years. He would slip us food and newspapers and occasionally other things but we never left the room. The montage ended with the day that the door was finally opened. Everybody looked pretty much the same thirty years later except some people weren't wearing the hippie clothes anymore. There was press everywhere and we started talking to people about how awful it was. I remember I started crying but then started eating samosas from an oven in a small kitchen with a filthy, sticky floor. At one point I started arguing with the guy who locked us in, but I wasn't really very angry. I threw a plastic cup filled with ketchup at him but he knocked it back and it landed on the ugly blue velvet hippie shirt I was wearing. I ran back into the kitchen and lay on the floor in the fetal position, right before I woke up.

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RODAN657'S INTERVIEW ABOUT HEADSCARVES

Awhile back I discovered an awesome web site that fanatically cataloged magazine, television and movie stills of women wearing scarves on their heads ("Celebrating the beauty and allure of the headscarved woman"). Blown away, I decided to contact the site's owner for an interview and after a drawn-out back and forth exchange, here it is!


It says on your website "I had developed quite a fascination with women wearing headscarves, mainly as a result of dating several girls who were into "the look". Where do you live? Why do you think you initially met so many girls who were into "the look'?

I live in Geneva, Switzerland. It gets a bit cold and windy here during autumn, winter and early spring. A lot of women of all ages cover their heads in various ways. Back when I was in high school, however, a very pretty girl in our class started wearing a classic-tied headscarf during the winter, and the most popular girl loved the look and adopted it. Before you would know it, we had most of the girls in our school in a Classic or a Kelly, and each and every one of them tried to have their own individual style.

What exactly is it about scarves that attract you so much to them?

The women wearing them. ;) Seriously, I wish I'd know, probably it has to do with the girls I dated! A friend of mine loves women with glasses, for instance. It may have something to do about the scarf framing the face, and actually adding to the woman's beauty. Then it's mainly collector fever: I like to collect pictures and share them.

Do you find women wearing scarves around their neck attractive, or does this not really appeal to you in the same way?

I find all women attractive, with my wife at the top. ;) Anyway, it's another thing.

Who are some of your favorite celebrities who wear the headscarf frequently? what are some of your favorite films/television shows that have featured the headscarf?

That's a tough one. I always think of Audrey Hepburn first, my favourite actress of all time, who wore it so naturally. Among the contemporary celebrities there's of course Alicia Keys with her beautiful rear ties and occasional Kelly, and Anna Friel who wore some great wraps in the show "Pushing Daisies". Alas, that one has been cancelled. Friel is just lovely. Madonna has always been a great headscarf wearer, of course. So is Jennifer Lopez.

As for films and so on, that's even tougher. I sometimes joke that "Great Balls of Fire" was great fun, but the real good reason to have it among your DVDs is Winona Ryder in a Kelly headscarf! Lisa Blount is great as well, but Winona gets the longer and better scenes. Period movies and TV shows of course are often great occasions to see an actress in a nice wrap. The new Marple series for instance, we've had Sophia Myles and Saffron Burrows for instance. I'm still waiting for "Mad Men" to get their ladies into some silk.

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A VISIT FROM DAP: SMART SIPS MILK AD FREAKED ME OUT

I was flipping through an issue of Redbook which was terrifying in it's own right before I stumbled across this awful ad for Gerber Smart Sips (fortified milk for hot, hot babies). I find this man-cow unbelievably terrifying and couldn't continue reading the magazine. Maybe it's just me. Someone ought to Photoshop this thing into some movie posters. I'll sleep on the winner's couch.

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BEN GLANT IS STEAMING ARTICHOKES

I went to get a new phone (Blackberry, shit is dope) and found some AT&T in-store magazine. In an article meant to explain to old people how to use Facebook I found this incredibly infuriating picture of a made-up dude named Ben Glant and his supposed Facebook page. Does this make anyone else incredibly angry? FUCK THIS DUDE!

Also, atypicalmodernist? NICE TRY AY TEE 'N' TEE!

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A VISIT FROM DAP: COMPETING KALASHNIKOV VODKAS

I was watching Stephen Colbert the other day (the dude, not the show) and he had a segment (that he acted out in his back yard for some reason, weird) about Mikhail Kalashnikov. Towards the end there was a photo of some vodka in an AK-47 shaped bottle that piqued my interest for whatever reason. I looked it up and lo and behold, two completely different vodkas both claiming to be endorsed by the K-man. Maybe they boith are? Also, make sure to check out their competing URLs www.kalashnikovvodka.com and www.vodkakalashnikov.com. NOW THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL, AM I RIGHT?

The non-gun shaped vodka is also associated with something called the Nikita Girls, which seems like some sort of Russian whore service in the UK. "If you want to contact us for an evening of Russian fun..." What does that mean? No fun? OTC Prescription-strength drugs?

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A VISIT FROM DAP: COMPILATION OF CHARACTERS SAYING THE NAME OF THE MOVIE THEY ARE CURRENTLY TRAPPED IN

Had this idea four years ago though I did absolute nothing to actually make it happen. HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO BEAT ME TO IT?!?!

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