CF Edley finds out by accident: Supersampled tracks by a man named Sly Johnson

It's real! It's by Sly Johnson! It's called DIFFERENT STROKES! And erybody bump this one:


Also this one! It's called Is It Because I'm Black!!!


Also, last night I was at this real nice place with good people and there was a kid who kept barking wherever he went, which was kinda weird and got old before he even started, but I was drinking whiskey so it was whatever, but the real thing was when the host guy Nate, who's a really great champion, put on a Lee Perry wax this barking kid was noisy like "eeeeaaaaawww, I haaaaate reggae. Ugh." He really said "ugh." And I was like, "Quidgybo? Why?" He said something about how Rock was REAL music. To which is said "Sure sure it is, but so is reggae, and especially The Upsetter hiself." And this kid screwed up his face. He was carrying a distressed denim bag that matched his real tight distressed jeans. Not that I wasn't wearing a 1990 puffypaint Levi's jacket, distressed by nature, but without giving away the story I can say the kid was seriously punk no movement. Scratch forward and the kid is downstairs when Nate puts on some old soul music. I'm like, okay. Moments later kid comes upstairs all, "Ugh! I can't stand it [which is a great Chambers Brothers song]! Where's the Beach Boys." I'm sitting shooting shit with the hostess Andrea and she say "Somewhere in there, in the records, but you're never gonna find it." I crack my knuckles. The Beach Boys is cool. So kid's searching, searching, and he's like, "Oh thank god. Arf." No joke, this kid barked all the time. He puts on "Ring of Fire," by Johnny Cash. Not really okay, honestly. Not a real cheer me up partytime jam. Not a great hey we're young and awesome in this awesome place with so many spatial and spiritual options it's insane kinda chune. Obviously not a bad track. A great track. I won't jux. But not a real it's 1 in the a.m. and I got weed in the brain and whiskey in the blood and my good friend is leaving town tomorrow so let's rock jam. Arf. So I say, "Yo doo, you need to learn to appreciate black people music, seen?" And then he looks at me like a fucking fourteen-year-old skateboarder, like a surfer in a movie, like a Creed fan, and starts looking through the records again. Moments later a really great kid in raver-pants named Royce comes running upstairs like "Aaaagh this is fucked." I crack up, kid barks, and Royce puts on... Iron Maiden. Word is love. Fine choice. This party's the jump. Again now forever. Arf.
Also, Paul Korzan and his friend told a joke about telling a joke that made me and three people almost vomit it was so goddam funny. Something about Paul trying to tell a joke and basically implying the joke, "Hey, guys, so there's a black president and pigs flew," which is something about swine flu I guess. Then Paul hurt my stomach more with a joke about whales. Whales: not usually the funniest. Good work.

Peace to Lizzie Owens.