Monday, September 22, 2008

Craigslist: Trading 4.5 Million Shares of Lehman Stock for ANYTHING YOU CAN GIVE ME

"Alright so I am a (former) Lehman Brothers broker. The truth is that I don't really know what I did there but I am real good at Excel spreadsheets and apparently ruining the economy. The point is that I have accumulated a little under 4.5 million shares of stock and I need to get rid of them and some other stuff I have bought over the years. My Soho loft is pretty much packed with stock, so is my Water Street condo and my summer apartment in the Upper West Side. I have live-in girlfriends at each of these places and I can't stand to lose any of them, so I am DEFINITELY a motivated seller. I am trying to get rid of the following things:

- All 4.5 million shares of stock, perfect for a paper airplane fleet, wallpapering, you name it.
- A series of Porsche 911 Turbos painted to match the color of Skittles
- Bottles of wine apparently owned by Plato (I might have gotten ripped off???)
- A houseboat in Long Island Sound with a firing range on it.
- The original Zapruder film (rare!)
- I can also tell you stories about eating at some really amazing and famous restaurants (Daniel, Per Se, Nobu, and more)

In retrospect I probably should have saved some money or maybe worked for a decent company but the past is unfortunately behind me and the future is crushing down on me like 210,000 pounds of paper. "

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