Thursday, February 5, 2009

A VISIT FROM DAP: Google Breezers

When you imagine Google's Vice President of Search Product and User Experience (or, SPUE, as I've just made up) do you imagine a gross, lanky, nerdy white dude with glasses and pleated khakis? Or a fat(possibly Indian) guy who smells bad and constantly drinks soda (and not even 'diet')? I bet it wasn't super-cute blond chick with the most obnoxious laugh ever?

This is Marissa Mayer, also known as Google's VP of SPUE. She graduated from Stanford (ever heard of it?) with a B.S. in Symbolic Systems. I don't even know what the fuck that is! After getting her M.S. in Computer Science, which is way less cool-sounding, she went on to become one of Google's first 20 employees. which means she must be SUPER-LOADED. Like '+ EIGHT' loaded. So what's the catch? Listen to this.

Totes disgusting and uncalled for, although user legolasegb says 'I find her laugh so attractive. She sounds like sucha ditz but she's obviously very smart, as well as successful. She ROXX MY SOXX!' Perhaps...
Anyway, here's a very strange picture of Marissa Mayer wearing a long gown alone in a ballroom and another of her looking high as shit a la Ellen Feiss. Wikipedia that.
Dorothy McGivney joined Google in 2003. She 'tweaked the text of search ads' and is now a millionaire. She looks like a chick I made out with at DuckDuck in Bushwick but wouldn't let me touch her boobs cause we were in public so I went out to smoke a cigarette and wandered off. Maybe it was her?

Headed to India to see my grandmother, buy absurd trinkets and carry on a secret mission some of you might be privy to, involving a certain feline and a certain dutch-pop group. I'll be back in about two weeks with a full-report on my journeys.

Alright, I'm Swayze

1 comment:

KOOL A.D. said...

Google Analytics