Wednesday, November 18, 2009

From the Annals of the Flinternet...RAPE TUNNEL

I was recently informed about the latest installation piece by artist Richard Winehouse. Entitled "Rape Tunnel", it takes the form of a long, darkened passageway constructed of wooden beams. This is what the Rape Tunnel looks like:


In keeping with the piece's title, Winehouse claims, in his artist's statement, that he will rape anyone who walks through it. This project comes in the wake of his previous piece, the "PUNCH-YOU-IN-THE-FACE TUNNEL", which resulted in a lawsuit when he broke a model's nose. Do you think I'm leading you on? How dare you!?! I outta rape-punch you for doubting my sincerity! Here's an article that lends legitimacy to my claims. Now, part of me respects Mr. Winehouse for pushing the boundaries of what is considered "art" in a climate in which it seems as though every boundary has already been pushed, ever avenue trodden down countless times. But another part of me concludes that he a rapist. So here are some less severe suggestions I have for Mr. Winehouse as he conceptualizes future artistic undertakings:

1) Owl Turds Tunnel: Same basic idea, except there's owl shit EVERYWHERE. You can finger the owls, but only if they consent.

2) Grape Tunnel: Fun for the whole family! White attire is not recommended.

3) Rape-Whistle Tunnel: An exuberant lesbian teaches art enthusiasts about rape prevention. Day-glo orange rape whistles are included in the entry fee.

4) Ape Tunnel: Ape boners fuckin' EVERYWHERE! Wear your rain poncho, cause shit gonna get CRAY ZEE!

5) Crepe Tunnel: Come hungry, leave raped! (Title may be construed as misleading)

6) Cape Funnel: Dracula is here to PAR-TAY!

7) Rape Mirror: Can people rape themselves? Only one way to find out! And that way is to cut a small hole into the mirror. And on the other side of that hole: party Dracula from idea 6!

So, am I sitting on the cutting fucking edge of artistic vision or what? While Mr. Winehouse is crouching in his tunnel, greasing up his wiener and hoping a fat dude doesn't walk in, I remain here, in the realm of the anonymous internet, greasing up my wiener and hoping that True Blood is on. Have a Rape-Tunnel-worthy day!


jww1066 said...

It's a hoax, dude.


boobs said...

still, "Rape seemed like the next logical step" is pretty good line.

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