Monday, March 23, 2009

\\\ i wrote this for yoo when i should have been working

On Positive Energy and Dealing With The Anxiety of Late Capitalism and Becoming a Happy Person

Separating Yourself From Negative Vibe Emanators

Negative energy can eminate off of a NVE's physical being and on to you via proximity. Thus the first step in the process of gaining positive energy during these trying times is to separate yourself from all NVEs in your life. Create a spiritual firewall to prevent NVEs from entering your spiritual zone. It's a well-known fact that negative energy is tranferred much faster than positive energy. There is extreme potential for Negative Vibe Emanators to absorb Positive Energy from PVEs and exchange it for Negative Vibes. I've seen it before.

Creating Your Own Positive Energy, Becoming a Positive Vibe Emanator

Obviously on the flipside to the aforementioned, surround yourself with Positive Vibe Emanators. One of the easiest ways to be a positive vibe emanator is to be an idiot and have no concerns about the people or world around you. If this applies to you, I don't think we'd be buds or you'd be a reader of my web log. I'll skip over this method. In general, discussing idiot PVEs (IPVEs) or NVEs is an easy route to becoming an NVE. The toxic combination of absorbing negative vibes from others and creating your own negative vibes create what I call a vicious bicycle. The most important thing is to be a PVE - nothing is as important. To a certain extent, you are who you pretend to be. If not, it is at least a fraction of your overall existence. Even if pretending to feel happy, eventually your mind will convince you that you are indeed happy and eventually feeling upset becomes uncomfortable not for the specific negative vibe-creating circumstances but solely because you're no longer used to it. In this instance it is no longer an option to emanate positive vibes, but turning a leaf becomes a necessity. So be happy. Be cognizant of positive and negative energy. If you sense negative energy in a group situation, bring up the fact that those vibes are not cool at all. In times like this, people want something to believe in and eventually your whole friendship circle becomes one that emanates positive vibe-age. Vibes can be ironic too but all that is ironic comes from a place of truth. It was really fun watching Laguna Beach for the white coonery, but the next thing you know you genuinely enjoy the show. So even if you think it's all a joke, embrace it, and eventually you'll see the light. Blind materialism also helps, as buying stuff will make you feel better if it's a cool thing you bought. Additionally, help your economy out! As my dad never said but probably did "Giving help is wealth!" He did say Health is Wealth; so keep that in mind as well.

On Physical Methods of Creating Positive Vibes

There are physical ways to balance one's energy and become a PVE. Yoga is not one of them. Yoga, like Magic, is not real. Yoga may have been real at one point, though this modern mass-commoditized bastardized version of an activity I thoroughly enjoyed participating in with my grandmother as a child... is a joke. One physical method of creating positive energy involves taking the yoga matt out of someone's back pack and beating them with it though you do so at the risk of creating negative energy via perception of others (NEVPO). NEVPO is when someone misunderstands your positive energy to be negative and a resulting glance or comment has the power to change your energy. NEVPO is a big part of absorbing negative energy from others so be weary. A natural method of creating positive energy, without the risk of NEVPO, is being outdoors. As everyone knows, your positive energy naturally rises as the weather gets better. Thus at this specific time of the year, you get a head start on becoming a PVE. Be outdoors as much as you can. The opposite of a vicious bicycle, is a bicycle. Buy one. Ride it. Visit a place far away from your home base as you may become accustomed to locational vibes. Ride your bike to queens, pick up some positive energy, and transfer those locational vibes to your home base where they can then reside. This is a fleeing form of positive energy though it could perpetuate into longer-term positive vibes. If you're a girl, chances are you'll look prettier on a bike and this is one sure-fire way to become a PVE. In this visual driven society, being good looking can turn your vibes to positive via positive energy via perception of others (PEVPO). People assume good looking people are automatically filled with positive energy and give you glances that may turn your good looking negative energy into positive energy. If you're not good looking, hit the gym and read more books. While you're at the gym, do not engage in anything called Yoga. You can drink a calming tea.

Another great way to create positive vibes is to create art that will bring positive vibes to others and also make you feel good about your positive vibe generation. Getting lost in the process, you take your mind off of any negative circumstances that can down your vibe-age. People will also think you're cool and send PEVPO your way. Colors are so cool. Listening to good music is cool too. Here's a shitty drawing I made that caused me to have a little bit more positive energy:

Invent your own forms of physical positive vibe creation.

Two methods I've embraced that you are free too as well: The first method I call Sooryavansham. I thought this was a real Sanskrit way to say Sun Welcome but it may not be. It is definitely a 1999 Bollywood film starring Amitabh Bachchan. As I mentioned, the Sun is a natural positive vibe emanating organism. It may be our biggest resource in the vibe game. Embrace the sun. When you wake up in the morning, stare at the sun with eyes closed and palms pointed toward the source of light. Do so for 2 minutes, perhaps repeating a mantra. If you're guru hasn't given you a mantra, you can make your own up. The palms are sensitive to both UV rays and vibes. As the UV rays enter your physical being through your palms, they automatically turn into positive vibes. This is another fleeing form of positive energy as results may decrease after 5 minutes though performing this ritual in the morning can cause an avalanche of positive vibes perpetuated off of this initial ritual.

My second form of physical creation of positive vibe emanation is based in both absorption and nostalgia. Perform a Sooryavansham while spinning, arms out higher than they would be for the previous ritual. When you were a kid and couldn't drink beer, chances are you did this for fun. Feeling like a kid is always fun.

While on the topic of children I should mention that they are the ultimate positive vibe emanating people. Pets have a tendency to go both ways whereas children will always be positive vibe emanators. If you have a nephew or niece you haven't seen in some time, go play with them. Absorb their positive vibes. They have enough to share.

Finally, pot helps. Weed edge for life.

For more information on positive energy, leave a comment and I can come back to you. Thanks!

Also, no donations necessary. I do this for the kids.

** Update: Some may believe my hating of Yoga may qualify me for being an NVE. I don't hate on yoga, I offer alternatives. True spirituality comes from within oneself, not commodifiable methods of cheaply attained positive energy. Positive energy can't be sold or bought. There's no market for vibes. Even to those attending free yoga seminars, I simply suggest that you come up with your own form of Yoga, though perhaps void of that title. Be your own guru. Perhaps my hatred comes from a place of race, I'll admit this. And perhaps my inability to look beyond race is an inherent source of NVE. This may be the case, but I embrace my race for all its N's and P's and ultimately there's a net P to my vibe-age levels. Race can be both N and P, you have to decide which it is for you.

Also, Al in the comment stream mentioned that creating false positive energy runs a risk, upon realization of the falsity, of standing in the way of true positive energy. I don't make a distinction. Ultimately upon perpetuating itself, the source of this positive energy is not what matters - the result is. Happy vibing kids!


al said...

Gurumanshu, sir,
you're saying that if you lie to yourself long enough, or hard enough, you will believe your own lies...but does the awareness of it being a lie stand in the way of true believing?
please, sir, help.

Dap said...

I believe later self-reflection often helps in the determining/sorting of Vibe Emanations (in the comfort of one's own home) while also allowing people to LITN (LIVE IN THE NOW. All while healing their auras with PVs.

All-in-all a fascinating, rounabout way to explain one's insecurities and trouble being comfortable around others/"normal"

Nicholas said...

Dear Himanshu,

This is what I've been trying to say. People too often don't take vibes with that special mix of serious and not serious. Vibes are real. Being an idiot is dumb. Being funny is great. Yoga is 'tarded, but I like stretching. I think I could really enjoy stretching my body with other people, but I'm often loathe to try it out. What's the deal? Maybe I'm repressed. Repressed vibes don't help anyone. Thank you for initiating this vibescussion.

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