\\\ news

i've been looking at apartments lately. it's a lot of fun. it starts with having to write those e-mails telling people a little bit about yourself. i usually start with something like "since i was a wee lad i've wanted to live in an AWESOME BR in A 3 BR DUPLEX OFF MONTROSE." then i babble about myself a little bit and talk about how i'm clean and my vibes are 80/20 pos/neg. when i get there, i like to walk into the bathroom and gesture like i'm brushing my teeth and washing my face to vibe the room out. then i take mental snaps of the room and guesstimate how furniture would fit. then i demand being allowed to sit down on the couch for 4 minutes so i can see what kind of couch we're dealing with here. after that i make a joke like "ahh, this is where i would put the meth-lab. you guys are down with ice right? you holdin?" that ones a bit hit or miss. most people like the meth jokes but some of em, not so much. they get a little weirded out.