A VISIT FROM DAP: GREAT LIBRARY BOOKS

Straight out of Kate Bryant's frontal lobe comes this awesome (and frequently updated) blog, Awful Library Books. This reminds me of the time my brother worked at the Windsor Park branch of the Queens Public Library in middle school and used to bring back books marked 'DISCARD' all the time. They were mostly 50s textbooks and shitty copies of "classics" but there'd sometimes be books I think they found inappropriate to carry anymore. I think this blog is mostly the latter category. WHO ARE THESE ANONYMOUS LIBRARIANS?

Ejemplos:

This book is probably quite different from my own effort, "A Woman's Toe" (Doubleday)


A Passion for Asses

Vans: A shoe for white folks


I can already imagine the nerdy kid finding this book in the library. 2 weeks later his mom is dragging him to church.


CORRECTSTAR


STEP ONE: BE INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL, IMPECCABLY WELL-DRESSED WHITE PEOPLE


Also the cover of my book 'Bashing a Dude's Head in with a Wrench'


FINALLY I CAN BURY MYSELF NEXT TO MY CAT IN THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD

Read More...

27 CIGARETTES

I had a dream I found a Snickers bar on the ground but it had a little tear in the wrapper so I was going to go to a corner store to see if I could be like "Hey, this Snickers bar has a tear in the wrapper, could I get a new one?" (I realize I tend to never have money in any of my dreams.) But before I find a corner store, I run into fellow Gordon Gartrelle blogger Kate Bryant, who tells me that some (fictional) band called 27 Cigarettes had just hijacked a plane.

The dream then cut to a music video of theirs that was basically the Blind Melon video for No Rain plus the Soul Asylum video for Run Away Train, which got taken off of Youtube but as I remember it has a lot of pictures of lost children in it. I forget the name of the 27 Cigarettes song but the album was called Light Up. I was like, "This band is wack."

Read More...