LAST VISIT FROM DAP IN 2009: ARBITRARY ASSEMBLAGE OF STORIES AND IMAGES VAGUELY CORRESPONDING TO THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS

These are ten images and a few "stories" tossed together so I can get in a year-end list like everybody else. I love you all, faithful (and faithless) readers and would love for you to email pictures of yourselves to me immediately (or ASAP!). HERE. WE. GO!

one

Rob Leitzell (famous film director) was filming something for his NYU Film class at Chris, Kate and Ray's old place on McKibbin Street. Me and Hima had brief parts so while other filming was going on a bunch of us would sit in the hallway and eat pizza and smoke cigarettes and drink beer and be told to shut up. I took off my all-white Nike Blazers with rainbow laces and left them outside for maybe ten minutes. When I came back to get them, they were gone. Later that night, Hima was looking for his shoes that he had left inside. One was found but the other was missing. I had to wear a gigantic pair of silver glitter platform boots home all the way to Jefferson Street (several blocks away) while Mexican dudes laughed at me (which was awesome). Someone gave Hima pair of Pumas he still wears to this very day.

His other shoe was never found, even when they moved out...

two

One time I was coming back from Daniel Lynas' studio with Aleksey (Lakutis) and I started feeling faint (from days of not sleeping or eating) so we got off the train at 47/50 and we had to wait while I sat on a bench for twenty minutes. Aleksey had class early the next morning, what a loser!

three

One night Quinn Walker (of the band Suckers and general good-dudeness) repeatedly claimed to have gotten into a fight with fifteen (then twenty, then thirty) dudes outside a bar. He had no cuts or bruises and appeared to be in a very good mood.

four

I DID NOT PISS IN THAT BOTTLE, NOR DID I PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN URINE.

five

I DID PISS IN THE SINK BUT NOT THE FLOOR. I ONLY PISSED IN THE SINK CAUSE I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THERE, EWW!

six

I spilled an entire frozen box of peas I had microwaved into a silverware drawer at some random's house, I was very drunk and began to clean the drawer. I cleaned maybe 80 percent of it, but then saw several roaches inside the drawer and freaked out and didn't finish. I don't think I did anything wrong but I'm sorry. SORRY ABOUT WASTING THE PEAS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

seven

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THIS IS A CLASSIC, FOLKS! ENJOY IT!

ten

Well that's all for me this year. Check out Stuffed Petite (part of the Gordon Gartrelle Group) in 2010 and if you're in the mood for more funny pictures, search for "A Visit from Kate" (who I hear now goes by DA BADDEST BITCH and has like thirteen piercings?). Adios!

...AND KEEP THE CHANGE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!